You just had a baby – whether it
was three months ago or a year ago. You’re feeling better. You’ve lost some
weight. Your clothes are starting to fit again, and you’re actually getting a
little sleep. Do you really want to go back to work? If you are bowing to peer pressure, or expectations that someone else has for
you, think long and hard about what it is that you are doing. If you make a
mistake, or change your mind, you can always turn things around, but only after
affecting other people. Now is the time to do your own homework.
Sit down with a pad of paper and a
pencil and make a column of all the reasons you want a nanny, and make another
column listing all the reasons you don’t. Rarely does any mother have only pros
or all cons when it comes to hiring a nanny. Be completely honest, and write
fast. Get everything out and down on paper before you have a chance to edit
yourself. Confront your worst fears, even if they seem paranoid and silly. No
one has to see this list, but you.
If you have a therapist, a best
friend or a husband that you feel intimate enough to discuss your fears and
concerns with, then take your time and do so. This decision is important enough
to take a week or two to make sure you are confident in your decision. Don’t
leave any stone unturned in your psychological quest for confidence. Talk to
your mother, your sister and your grandmother about what it means to be a
woman, and find out if rearing your children by yourself is part of their
definition, and if hiring a nanny means that you have failed at being a woman –
or a mother. Get it all out on the table so you can decide what a woman and a
mother is – to you – and what kind of woman or mother you want to be.
Life is a creative process, and you are master of your
destiny – but only if you confront your fears and insecurities, and decide to
create your own life. Think about what a great role model you are already being
for your child if you can take on this task!
