photos for you of the events you’re missing, to see when you are home. There are lots of ways for the two of you to communicate and meet each other’s needs if you are clear and articulate about your feelings and your needs.

You love your child, but you hate doing the mommy work – and you may feel deathly guilty about it. Get over it. Any way you can. If you have any mixed feelings about hiring a nanny, work them out with a therapist so that they don’t complicate your actions and your relationships in your life.

If you quickly realize that you are not cut out for diapers, crying babies and play dough or ninety-four rounds of “Wheels on The Bus,” then be honest about that, too. There is no law saying that you have to like “floor time” with your child, and there is no fine that will be imposed on you if you hire help to give your child that opportunity with another person.

Decide what it is that you would like to do with your child, in your own unique mother-child relationship. What do you want to do with your child, rather than have the nanny do it? For instance, you may want to attend play dates or birthday parties that other adults will be at rather than taking long walks in the park with the baby in the stroller. You can’t wait to get back into your pre-pregnancy jeans and you love your baby – especially when someone else is taking care of it. Okay. Let go of any guilt or shame about what you do or do not like. The idea here is to be clear about your needs, minus any judgment, so that both you and your nanny can accommodate your needs.