What you can do to circumvent these problems is to stop and re-group. Re-visit the reasons you have a nanny in the first place. If it’s to allow you to go to work or do errands, then understand that the best way for that one thing to happen is to give in to the dynamic between what works for the nanny and the child.

Can you live with it? If you can, then you will still be getting your first need met – you will get to go to work – and you will be compromising on the second need. But you will also be having a happy dynamic between the nanny and the child.

If you’re lucky in life, you never have to compromise because everything always falls into place. But if you’re like the rest of us mere mortals, you’ll have to do some compromising. Don’t think of it as losing ground. Think of it as making the equation work by making adjustments.

You will also be setting a good example for both your child and your nanny. If they see you compromising, they will recognize compromise when it comes before them as something that they have to do to make their own lives easier. Flexibility is currency in your nanny-employer relationship.

It may sound extravagant or just plain crazy, but some situations call for more than one nanny. Some families have more than one child, and one or more than one of them may be special needs children. In order to promote safety and fun, your nanny should not be run into the ground with responsibility and physical demand. Some families have four girls who are all very demure, quiet and responsive. Others have four boys where the local hospital emergency room attendants are on a first name basis with the parents because there have been so many stitches, tetanus shots, broken limbs and other accidents that come with out of control horsing around or bike riding or playground incidents.