Ask your nanny what she used in
previous jobs as a disciplinary measure. Be very clear with her that corporal
punishment (hitting the child) is not allowed in your household. Be clear that
cursing in front of and at the child is not allowed in your household.
Invite her to please, please,
please call you if the child becomes out of her control, and she is losing her
temper. Tell her that you would much rather hear from her if there is a
discipline problem at home, than hear it from your child, and have to go
through the “he said/she said” of figuring out who said and did what to whom.
Remind her that you have to work as
a team, and that you know it is not unheard of for adults to become exasperated
or lose their temper with children on occasion. However, rather than her taking
it on herself, you’d rather she include you in any real problems so that you
can help her.
Many times nannies that do resort
to violence with a child do so because they feel that it is the easiest and
most efficient way to correct the problem at hand.
By offering two things to
your nanny – clear boundaries that hitting is not acceptable, and that you are
there to help her with any tough situations – you will give her a support
system to deal with any tough situations she encounters with your child, or
other children.
Sometimes your child will have a
friend at your house while your nanny is watching the children, and the friend
will come without a nanny or parent. If the child’s friend needs disciplining,
you need to set up some ground rules for the nanny – or see if she has any
already that will work.
A child doesn’t want to play a particular game or go to a
particular play activity
